In the Zone

Due to illness, I am spending a lot of time at home on my couch with my computer. This is great in some ways, but dreadful in others. It's giving me time to think, really think. About my life. Priorities. Goals. Decorating my living room. Finishing the t-shirt quilt I started over two years ago. What is it like to be the street sweeper? Why do we need so much stuff to feel "good"? And a million other things that are mostly trivial and few that are worth exploring more.  

To try and find purpose in my surfing, I read more about FLUX.  I discovered that in psychology, the term is related to FLOW.  This term was established by a Hungarian guy, try to say this three times really fast - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Did you try? Besides his crazy name, he is recognized for his study of HAPPINESS and CREATIVITY.  The basic idea is that a person can become so immersed in their thoughts and actions related to one subject that nothing else around them really matters.  Something like "completely focused motivation."

I relate this to being on the rugby field when I was so involved in a match that the surrounding sounds, fans, coaches, everything outside of the touchlines was non-existent. Only the people on that field mattered. There was a clear goal. We had a good sense of our challenges and skills. Knowing the other team - knowing myr teammates.   "Clear & immediate feedback" was a given. Balls were passed & kicked; caught or dropped. You were tackled or made it into space. You scored. They scored. Or defense prevailed. 

Dr. C. wasn't really the first person to describe this state of being. Eastern thinkers were all over this stuff a long time ago - Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Zen, meditation, yoga practice, Mayan temples, Greek astrology  ---you get the drift. 

So, how do we as women bring this to our everyday life? Even to just a part of our daily to-do list. What are your priorities? Are your goals clear? Do those goals match the parts of life that help you to feel happy and creative? How do you get feedback? Is it immediate? Do you pay attention to it? Let's find FLOW.

 

The only constant...

Everyone says that the only constant we know in life is change. http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/anthony_j_dangelo.html

We start learning life as little girls, hit the puberty minefield, develop a sense of who we are in our 20s, only to reinvent in our 30s. Every decade brings fabulous experiences, heartbreaks, realities of being employed in a male-defined world of work, reaching or missing society's defined milestones - degrees, careers, marriage, children...successes are met with loss. Celebrations are countered by grief. We are pressured to do great work in all of our roles with or without support.  Sometimes these demands come from inside - our own internal locus of control - other times it comes from all of the external influences. Is anyone hearing their parents' voices in their head? How about your boss? Maybe a partner or your child?


Women are often putting everyone and everything ahead of our own needs. How do you keep balance in your life? What helps you to overcome the guilt? What do you need during a time of transition? How do you embrace the flux?